Transition Day

Or do I Thank God?  Friday is Transition Day.  Capital T.  Capital D.  It's the day Kids 1-4 pack up their beloved possession and go from Mom's to Dad's and vice versa.

Both Dad and I have full sets of clothes, jackets, shoes and toys at our homes.  But there are just enough things that can't be duplicated.  Baby blankets (yep...we've still got 'em).  Teddy Bears (same story). iPods. iPad. Cell phones. Backpacks. Lunchboxes. School Projects....and Kid 1 takes the guts out of his PC and hauls them back and forth.  He sits like he's holding a dozen baby chicks in his lap.  It's that fragile.  Also the beloved collections of lip balm, legos, and Rainbow Loom bands.  Whew.  It's still a lot of packing.

My heart feels like it's had a run in with a meat tenderizer.  Not broken, just mashed up.  What a hassle for them.  How confusing for me to send them back to the home where I long ago decided I couldn't stay.

But then...a glimmer of relief sneaks in.  I get a break from Momhood.  I'm back to single girl status.  WooHoo!  Right?  Sleeping in.  Endless hours to read or watch all of those shows that use naughty words and contain *adult material*. Not cleaning up after anyone. Opening and Closing work shifts. Dating.

I'll head into the bathroom to touch up my make up for a night out and see band-aid wrappers strewn across the vanity.  Panic.  What happens if a scrap or bump happens at Dad's?  Is he available enough to care for it?  What if they get hungry?  Will he have enough snacks? Will he keep them on some sort of sleep schedule?  Can I trust him to get them to the endless rotation of ortho, therapy, and before school music practice?

Thus begins an endless spin of worry.  Helicopter Mom wants to run and shadow their every move.
I'm no longer ALWAYS there...like i was for the 15 years of being a baby factory.  And finally, I'm reminded that the choices I made and impact it's had on them.  Deep breath.

Bing-bong rattles my phone.  What time are we meeting? A text from a friend.  Soon followed by forgot my math book. Can u drop it off? I reply to both as I gather my keys and the forgotten math book.

I forgive myself for my multiple personality disorder that lands about Thursday night and lasts until about Saturday morning.  Gotta ride the emotional roller coaster until it flattens out and the shift of emotions isn't quite so strong.  Honest truth.  I'm sure we'll be talking about this more.

TGIF to y'all...