Tuesday, June 3, 2014

LIfe and times of PixieChick

PixieChick.  That's my online dating profile name.  Not so much because of short hair...which i do adore.  More for the reference to the impish sort of fairy who causes a bit of mischief by trying to live by her own set of rules.  She doesn't always follow the lifestyle of the fancy fairies.  She gets in the mud.  Talks sassy.  Kinda flaky.  But the other fairies look out for her and love her for who she is.  Get it??

I love reading online dating profiles. Love it.  I had a mental checklist they have to pass.  Usually by the use of photos they post, but also the written sales pitch.

Today's post will chat about the photos.  The profile photo is a very big deal.  Do they look happy?   Do they have a face i could look at thru an entire meal? Do you look like someone who might be storing dead body in the basement?  It matters.  And please, please dothey can't use a selfie taken in the bathroom.  Nobody looks good in a selfie and this reeks of *I have no friends i trust enough to take a pic of me*.   Withstanding a little ridicule from friends is character building.  Right?!

Then I would look for what i deemed the trinity of male lifestyle.  Dead deer. Motorcycle. Fish.  This basically tells me you like to kill stuff, then ride off into the sunset.  There is nothing wrong with any of these things.  But let me tell you.  There is a large percentage of men who include only these pics.  So he knows how to be a guy's guy.  There is a market for that, but I'm not standing in the checkout lane.

Bonus points would be awarded for pics with Mom.  Shows me that he knows how to have a  relationship with a woman.  Group shot.  Not so much of an introvert that he can't hang out with others.  Something should be thrown in with him and a kid.  Even if it isn't his own.  I have gobs of them and I need to know that they don't make him break out in a rash.  Relaxing with a beer or cup of coffee.  I like both and need to know he can sit still long enough to enjoy either.

Notice nothing in my criteria talks about blue eyes? full head of hair? acceptable height? fashion or lack there of?  It isn't high on the list.  Yes. I swoon for a twinkle in the eye.  Butterflies for a bald head. And I prefer a little meat on 'em for hugging.  But I'm looking for a real person...and that comes in all different sorts of packaging.

I'm sure there's more.  But that will do for now.  Next edition will include the written word portion of perusing. 

Now.  If you think I'm being too picky...let me tell you a story.  Last May I conducted a mini-research project.  Fishing is usually really good in May.  Should apply to my search.  Each day I found 2-3 men that fit my *criteria*.  Really not hard to find.  I'd send a little "hey, how are ya?" kind of note.  Included a comment about something I learned about them in their profile.  Usually a witty crack. And "let me know if you'd like to  chat" closing.

If you're math-y, that totaled a little over 80 notes sent over the course of a month.  80. Eight. Zero.  I had one reply. One.  And it was of the "thanks, but no thanks" variety.  I've never taken online dating super serious, but talk about rejection?! Boy.

So for some reason I didn't match the *criteria* set up by that many men?!  There is a feature where you can see who checked out your profile.  Pretty much all of them did and piled themselves up in the "thanks, but no thanks" pile.

But that wasn't enough to stop me.  I've met some wonderful men through this process.  Wonderful men!  And I kept casting into the pool.  Practicing a little catch and release.


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